Daily Reads


A big brother for bun

22 weeks

My pregnancy app tells me that at the end of this week I'll be six months pregnant (six months!) and I have yet to write a true pregnancy post about this sweet little nugget on the way. I could feel guilty about this - I want to celebrate every checkup, every kick in my tummy, every craving and every little thing that makes this pregnancy special as I did with Michael - but I don't feel guilty. Not at all. I'm pouring myself into my first baby right now.

I've been praying and, at times, hanging on by a thread through these "terrible twos" (which actually started around 20 months) and I think we're finally emerging on the other side. God heard my exasperated prayers for patience and guidance and whatever it was that Michael needed. And after a while when I didn't know what else to pray for I just hugged him, and loved him, and let him cling to me and push other people away for a while. I stopped trying to force Michael to grow out of that phase, and loved him through it instead. Then, one day after months of him refusing to talk to strangers without getting upset, he struck up a conversation with a woman in the grocery store, grinning and telling her about "fishies". A few days later at church, he ran through the door into Bible class without me and didn't look back. He started playing pretend games with his Dad in the evenings that didn't include me. Just like that, a piece of the terrible twos was over.

Just like when he finally started sleeping through the night, and when he stopped nursing - he did it when he was ready. I couldn't make it happen, and I couldn't have predicted when it would happen. And, I'm sure there will still be rocky times ahead, but he's ready and he has let go of me a little bit more. Where once there was a timid, demanding, clingy toddler, now there is a happy, confident, independent, funny, loving little boy. Just the kind of kid who is meant to be a big brother. Just the kind of big brother I want for our second baby.

So I'm going to keep covering him in love and attention and adventures outside and trips to the zoo and all the things that make him come alive with excitement. I'm going to build him up as strong as I can for all of the changes that will come with the arrival of his little brother. There probably won't be a lot of blog posts or an elaborate baby book awaiting this baby when he is born, but he will have a big brother ready and waiting to love him. And he will have a mama who is just a little more peaceful, a little more sure of herself than she was the first time around.

Mother's Day - 23 weeks

~linking up with Jellibean Journals~

1 comment:

  1. How exciting that he'll soon be a big brother! Loved your Mother's Day photo. I think you're heading in the right direction, loving him silly. He'll need even more once baby makes his way here. I'm a little nervous about how my daughter will take to being the big sister in a couple of months, but I'm confident that as long as she's showered in the love she knows best, it'll all work out great. Hope your pregnancy continues well, Christi!