A big brother for bun

22 weeks

My pregnancy app tells me that at the end of this week I'll be six months pregnant (six months!) and I have yet to write a true pregnancy post about this sweet little nugget on the way. I could feel guilty about this - I want to celebrate every checkup, every kick in my tummy, every craving and every little thing that makes this pregnancy special as I did with Michael - but I don't feel guilty. Not at all. I'm pouring myself into my first baby right now.

I've been praying and, at times, hanging on by a thread through these "terrible twos" (which actually started around 20 months) and I think we're finally emerging on the other side. God heard my exasperated prayers for patience and guidance and whatever it was that Michael needed. And after a while when I didn't know what else to pray for I just hugged him, and loved him, and let him cling to me and push other people away for a while. I stopped trying to force Michael to grow out of that phase, and loved him through it instead. Then, one day after months of him refusing to talk to strangers without getting upset, he struck up a conversation with a woman in the grocery store, grinning and telling her about "fishies". A few days later at church, he ran through the door into Bible class without me and didn't look back. He started playing pretend games with his Dad in the evenings that didn't include me. Just like that, a piece of the terrible twos was over.

I couldn't make it happen, and I couldn't have predicted when it would happen. And, I'm sure there will still be rocky times ahead, but where once there was a timid, demanding, clingy toddler, now there is a happy, confident, independent, funny, loving little boy. Just the kind of kid who is meant to be a big brother. Just the kind of big brother I want for my second baby.

So I'm going to keep covering him in love and attention and adventures outside and trips to the zoo and all the things that make him come alive with excitement. I'm going to build him up as strong as I can for all of the changes that will come this fall. There probably won't be a lot of blog posts or an elaborate baby book awaiting this baby when he is born, but he will have a big brother ready and waiting to love him. And he will have a mama who is just a little more peaceful, a little more sure of herself than she was the first time around.

Mother's Day - 23 weeks

The big blue chest of drawers

After being inspired by this photo for months, we finally set aside some time and refinished our old wooden chest of drawers and I couldn't be happier with the result! 

So here she is before her makeover. This chest has been in my family for over 25 years (and someone else's family before that - my parents bought it at a consignment shop in the 80s!) It's been used as a dresser in many different bedrooms, and now we're using it in the living room for storage and as a record stand. It's a pretty piece, and it wasn't so bad before, but  in our living room with the wooden floors and the adjacent brown leather couch it was just too much wood and too much brown. I also thought the space needed some shine, and I wanted to swap out the dark antique-style hardware for something a little more fresh and shiny. I knew I liked the look of bold color with brass hardware because I had seen it here on Little Green Notebook, and here on Hommemaker (with tutorial included).

I loosely followed the steps in the Hommemaker tutorial, above. (I skipped sanding since we were doing the whole job indoors, in our living room, while our toddler slept, I'm pregnant and not as nimble as I used to be, and I was assured by the nice lady at Lowes that sanding was unnecessary if I used primer. She was wrong. And while the finish is fine, it's less than the perfect, glossy lacquer I had imagined. I wish I had followed Orlando's instructions and just done a little sanding! Lesson learned for next time.) So, here's what we did:

First, we removed all the old hardware, and I wiped the whole chest down with a damp cloth to remove dust and anything else that might be on the surface. Next we painted the whole unit with a latex primer. We used a foam roller for the large flat surfaces and a brush for the more detailed work. Then we applied two coats of a high-gloss latex paint, allowing the paint to dry fully for 24 hours between coats. I let everything dry for three days before we put it back together and put on the new hardware (we used these and these). 

And that's it! Not bad at all, considering the way this has changed our living room. It's so much brighter and fresher now. I feel like it updated the whole space. And now that I know how easy it is, I'm eyeing several other wooden pieces around the house that could use some color....

Remember this photo? I spotted it on Little Green Notebook last fall and loved it. I've been thinking about refinishing a wooden chest of drawers in a similar color and adding brass pulls - seeing this photo again reminds me where I got the idea and has convinced me I need to do it! I love the effect and think it will bring a ton of warmth and color to our living room which has a similar neutral rug and wooden floors. Stay tuned for before and after photos!

space for our little man

crib / striped crib sheet / solar system print / rocker / name print / throw / skwish toy

I'll be 21 weeks along tomorrow (!) and this baby is starting to really make his presence known. My belly is growing (so much more quickly than with Michael!) and he is kicking and moving almost constantly, it seems. Sometimes, during the moments when I forget that I'm pregnant, Michael will come to me and ask to kiss the "baby in the tummy", which makes me melt, and gets me thinking that it won't be long at all until he's really here! Then, on Monday we had our 20 week ultrasound and we got to spend 15 blissful minutes looking in on our little guy, watching him kick and move, and falling in love with his precious little profile. Suddenly, it's time to start putting together a room for this boy!

We'll reuse the rocker and the crib (and the changing table) from Michael's room. (He'll be moving up to a real big-boy bed soon.) The walls in the nursery will be white, so I'm thinking of painting the crib a light grey to add a little contrast. I wanted to bring some yellow into the room and when I found this soft throw at Target I picked it right up. The solar system print isn't something I would have planned to put in a nursery, but it seems like just the kind of picture an infant will love to look at, and I love the colors, so the print has been ordered and is on its way. That isn't the name we've chosen (cute, though!), but I love the font and the colors in this name print, so I plan to order one once we've settled on a name. I'm still on the lookout for an attractive, affordable window treatment for the room, but I feel like we're on our way to having a special spot ready for this little boy.
I already can't wait to meet him.

(Here's his sweet profile, in case you wanted to have a look :)

Birthday week

On Tuesday our little guy turned two! It was kind of an unusual week - Tim was out of town on business, and we weren't having Michael's birthday party until Saturday, so we ended up having a low-key celebration that lasted all week. It was just right for Michael at this age, because while he loved being the center of attention at a big bustling party last year, this year he's happier to have excitement (and crowds) in smaller doses.

We had a "special day" at the zoo on Tuesday. He was so excited to go to the zoo - and to face forward in his carseat! 

He loved seeing the animals. On this day he was especially into the sharks, the crocodile, and the monkeys. 

He was so excited to go to the airport to pick up Daddy on Thursday. Michael talked about it  all week. It was the sweetest thing. On Friday morning we sang Happy Birthday and Michael opened presents. The play kitchen was a hit! And that afternoon cousins arrived! They picked right up the way cousins do, and played non-stop until bedtime. I think that may have been my favorite part - seeing Michael so happy to be with his cousins, and the sweet way they played and laughed together.

On Saturday we had some friends over and had a little birthday party. I was so busy running around I didn't get good pictures, but we had a great time. I made Michael an Octonauts cake (his favorite), and filled the party with as many sea creatures as I could. He loved it! He got a pet fish and an Octopod playset - that's about as good as heaven for him :) After the party (and naps) we spent the rest of the day visiting and playing outside. Michael got to play in the sprinkler for the first time with his cousins, and he loved it even though he kept getting "grasshoppers" (grass) stuck all over his feet :)

(Thanks for sharing this picture, Amy!)

I'm so thankful we got to share the weekend with people we love. Michael's still talking about Gigi and Papa, and Leah and Logan and baby Brady, and asking to blow out the birthday candles. It was a very special week.

Two

It's getting harder and harder to write about Michael. Tomorrow he will turn two. My heart is so full of love for this boy I don't even know where to begin. When he was a baby, I used to keep track of his stats for each month - weight, new teeth, new skills, consecutive hours slept, etc. It's easy with a baby. You meet their needs and you cheer with pride at every new milestone reached. It's so much fuzzier now. His personality becomes more distinct every day, and he's constantly learning and absorbing. Every day we're thrilled by his mind, his humor, and his abilities. But he's changing and growing so fast. Even the monthly updates and funny things he says just barely scratch the surface of this little individual who shares our home. How do I describe him at two? How do you keep track of a real live person?

A seasoned parent might read this and chuckle (or snort?), Of course he's a real-live person. But it's all still a little bit shocking to me. Just the way I was shocked when, at the end of labor, a baby came out of me. The same way I was shocked the first time he laughed. When he started sleeping through the night. When he started to defy us. When I realized we would have to teach him (!) to sit still for meals and Bible class. I've always had trouble understanding things unless I've experienced them personally, so of course I'm astounded that our two year old is becoming his own person. Heaven help me when he reaches the teenage years. And adulthood. Yikes. Tim, as always, is the steady voice of reason on this journey of parenthood. He has more than enough sense for both of us, and when I can't understand why Michael won't sit still, or won't obey, or doesn't want to do what I want to do, Tim gently reminds me that we aren't dealing with a robot, but a person who has his own thoughts and opinions. I've been a parent for two years now, and revelations like this still have me in a perpetual state of amazement. Maybe I'll have a better handle on things for baby #2.

Someone recently asked me, with eyes shining full of love, if I could even remember my life before Michael came along. I think my response surprised her. I could feel my face light up as I recalled our lives before we became parents: lazy Saturday mornings sleeping in, an abundance of time and energy for each other, long dinners at good restaurants with good friends, naps, exercise, international travel, shopping in peace alone, concerts, hours spent in bookstores and coffee shops, unlimited time and energy devoted to our careers...the memories are as clear as if it happened yesterday. Yes, I remember life before Michael and sometimes I really miss the freedom and indulgence.

But Michael has brought an entirely different kind of abundance to us. And if there is any way I could possibly define him, or measure his growth at this age, it is by the blessings he brings to our lives. In the dim light of early morning, the way he climbs into our bed grinning and says, "Good morning Mama! Bed so nice! Snuggle up." The way he touches my hair and kisses my cheeks. The way he kisses "Baby Brudder" in my belly. The way he runs, flying into Tim's arms at the end of the day. The way he asks Tim to put on a record, and dances with his Daddy to the music. The way he shares his cookies with his friends in Bible class. The way he marvels at flowers and lizards and bugs. The way he will walk outside on a sunny day, look around and say, "beautiful!" His singing voice. His laugh. His sweet, strong hugs. The crinkly eyes and dimples when he smiles. The way he wants the three of us to be together all the time. Nothing compares to the purity of these gifts. And I'm convinced no other child could have blessed us the way he has. I'm so thankful that God, in his wisdom, made Michael a part of our family.

It's been two years since you came into our lives, and every day is still a miracle. An adjustment. A precious gift.
Happy birthday to you, Michael. We adore you with all our hearts. 

Thank you for two years of love and sweet, sweet blessings.

xoxox

What Michael said

"It's not working right now." - Standing in front of the toilet trying to go potty, he looks at me and shrugs his shoulders.

"Storm coming. Dragon coming." - In our yard, looking up at a stormy sky. Said with a stone-straight face and in a quiet, ominous voice.

"Kitty like that." - A command to get down on all fours and meow like a cat with him; usually directed at me at inconvenient or potentially embarrassing moments.

"Thank you so much dinner, Mommy." - Dinner time, on his third serving of pasta. (With a little prompting from Dad.)