Paris with kids

browsing the flower market and bird market on Ile de la Cite

We conceived of this trip to France two years ago, right after we returned from a fantastic trip to Italy. At that time the boys were three and 13 months, and almost every detail of the trip - the weather, the culture, the food, the developmental stages the boys were in - was a very good match for traveling with small children. Of course, the trip to Italy had some difficulties, but it was beautiful and magical and it was very easy to imagine doing it again. And if the boys were two years older, how much easier it would be! Right?

Our trip to France was so good (that's an understatement - France is awesome), but the time in Paris was not the perfect fit for our kids that I had hoped it would be. Tim and I did our very best planning beforehand, and I'm so thankful for that because good planning smooths over a multitude of traveling problems. But when you only have eight days in Paris you want every detail to work out as well as possible, and some of our details just didn't work out, namely: the weather and the fact that Sam is two and a half and not a very compliant traveler.

warming up with some chocolat chaud on Ile St. Louis

One of the reasons our Italy trip was so successful was that we had gorgeous weather the whole time, and we ate and played outside most of the time. I prayed for good weather in Paris, but alas, it was very cold, cloudy, windy, rainy, and a couple of times even snowy. Great trench coat and hot chocolate weather! But not ideal in other respects. We made the best of things and visited parks and outdoor markets, monuments, and cathedrals, but it was hard to fully appreciate everything when the kids were cold. Sam, in particular, had a hard time with the cold, and this only compounded his jet-lagged two-year-old condition. So, we retreated to indoor activities when we got too cold (and that had its difficulties, too.)

journaling after our trip to Ile de la Cite

So, here are my thoughts on the best possible travels with little ones (pretty much the same as before, but with a couple of important additions):

1. Stay in an apartment or house. Someplace with a kitchen and a washing machine, and more than one room so when kids are sleeping you can stay up and enjoy yourself. Your visit will be about 1000% better for it. (And if you can swing it, try to pick a walkable neighborhood you like. The less time spent commuting the better.)

2. Bring the essentials, but don't overdo it. Bring their favorite blanket, their favorite bedtime book, their favorite movie on the iPad (and a night light app if you need one). Bring some stickers and paper and crayons, a couple of very small toys, and not much else. We start our trips with a half-full backpack for each boy, and it is amazing how we always have enough! Along the way they acquire little things here and there (coins, rocks, sticks, small toys, tickets, books, maps and souvenirs) and they play with these found treasures so well. There really is no need to bring lots of stuff for the kids. A few comforts from home for bedtime, and their imaginations will do the rest!

3. Plan activities that are fun for everybody - parks, picnics, strolls along the river, bike rides, hikes, etc. We don't plan everything around the kids, but we do try to plan every day with something in mind just for them. A lot of days we would do something for the parents (visit a market, Notre Dame, an art museum) and something for the kids (the ferris wheel, the bird market, a playground, a carousel, etc.) For us, the key to happiness seems to be spending time outdoors. 

Which leads me to my next rule...

4. Unless you're going skiing, travel during the warm months. It seems obvious, but when you're looking at prices the shoulder season is very tempting. Don't mess around with the shoulder season. For adults, fine! But for children, you need the good weather. You need the ability to picnic 90% of the time. You need to let them run and yell and wrestle (a lot), and that just isn't possible when you're indoors touring museums and eating in quiet bistros all day. You don't want the struggle of dressing them for inclement weather every time you go outside (never mind packing all that gear). You don't want to be wiping noses on vacation! So, pay attention to the weather and go when it's warm.

5. If you can, travel with people you love. Family, or friends, it doesn't matter. If you have a good time together it's so wonderful to share the adventure. This relates to kids in a several important ways: built-in playmates for the kids, built-in fun for mom and dad (plenty of quiet time to visit because the kids are happily playing together!), and you can swap baby-sitting for each other so you can have date night. Win-win-win. We still love to travel just as a family, but we've had several trips now with family and close friends (Tuscany with the Griffiths, Switzerland with Mom and Dad, Montana with the Mungers, and Burgundy with the Griffiths) and it has been nothing but blessings for us every time. 

More about this in my post about Burgundy.

6. If you have a two year old, just stay home. Kidding. (Sort of.)

Paris with kids: a glossary of terms

bistro: n. a small Parisian restaurant serving moderately-priced, simple meals that, according to guide books, are "kid friendly"; a place where a family can escape the cold while the kids fill up on baguette and water toasted and then gulped from wine glasses while mom and dad attempt to scarf down some local food before the kids get out of control and break said wine glasses

carousel: n. a quaint children's ride found in many picturesque locations around the city; a delightful diversion that may be used as leverage for a parent attempting to coerce children into participating in "cultural" activities or not acting like wild animals while dining in public; also, a tantrum waiting to happen if passed without stopping to ride (see also: two-year-old with jet lag)

dog poop: n. waste created by the numerous dogs of Paris and left on the sidewalk by owners who are too chic to pick up after their furry friends; found everywhere in great abundance including on the wheels of the stroller and the kids' shoes, and who are we kidding probably their hands too

Eiffel Tower: n. the only monument of any consequence in Paris, according to my boys; the ultimate "esclavator" ride for the two year old who will throw his hands in the air and gleefully yell "the Eiffel Tower!" whenever and wherever it is spotted, even after eight days in Paris

jet lag: n. temporary sleep disorder due to travel across multiple time zones; a two-year-old's dream come true, he/she will wake and demand food, water, stories, and play time at all hours of the night, find their demands are met by sleep-addled parents, then spend the daylight hours refusing to eat, arguing at every opportunity, and dropping off like a narcoleptic; this tyrannical behavior will go unchecked until the parents have recovered sufficiently to reinstitute some boundaries

pain au chocolat: n. puff pastry with a dark chocolate center; a common French pastry, if one could take a bite of heaven, it would taste like this; the staple of the child's diet while in Paris as evidenced by crumbs and chocolate streaks ever present on the child's face and clothing, and the erratic behavior that accompanies wild spikes and dips in blood sugar

picnic: n. a meal that takes place outdoors in an attractive setting, meant to inspire relaxation and well-being; with children will also include 10 minutes of incessant questions about "how many more bites" before they can go play, followed by a few short minutes of idyllic play that quickly devolves into fighting and/or injury with accompanying American-level outburst, and finished with complaining about the cold until mom and dad give up and drag everyone back to the flat for naps (see also: jet lag)

**It's not my intention to complain here. I love Paris and I love to travel with my family. I actually think the boys handled our trip well, all things considered! This is just me poking fun at what it's sometimes like to travel with kids. Or at least, what its like to travel with my kids.

Jet lag

waking up from a nap in Rome

One last post about our trip, because I haven't quite beat this horse to death yet. Ha! But this is kind of important stuff, particularly when traveling with kids. And I need to write it down because ever since I had my kids my memory doesn't function anymore.

So, jet lag. (Or is it jetlag?) I was prepared for jet lag to ruin the first several days of our trip (our precious few days in Rome.) I spoke to our pediatrician about giving the boys melatonin on the flight to ease the transition, and he didn't recommend it, so we had a drug-free flight and jet lag experience. And it wasn't quite as bad as I expected! Here's how it broke down: we left the states around 7pm and it got dark shortly after we took off. We fed the boys dinner, changed diapers/went potty, and had them both dressed in soft comfy clothes they could sleep in so as soon as the cabin lights were turned off they could go to sleep. It took a while for Michael to settle down, but eventually he fell asleep in his chair. Sam had a more difficult time, mostly, I think, because he didn't have his own chair and couldn't get horizontal. As soon as the sky started to brighten, Michael woke up (he got about 3 hours sleep) and Sam was already awake (having slept about 2 hours.) For the record, I got none. Sam demanded constant bouncing/rocking/holding and Tim was not feeling well. So, the boys got some sleep, and we parents had a rough time. Was it a fun flight? No. But my imagination had me prepared for much worse. No one got airsick, no one cried incessantly, there were no loud tantrums, and the boys woke up happy and ready to take Rome, so overall I think it went pretty well!

We arrived in Rome around 10, and we were checked into our rental by 12 (boys still awake, and a little cranky). We walked to a pizzeria in our neighborhood and had lunch. It was delicious but the boys made it hard to enjoy. They were tired and not really hungry, so Tim and I ate fast, then got the boys home and right down for naps. We all napped for a couple of hours, but at 4 we opened up the shutters, let the sun flood in, and forced ourselves to get up. This was key! Especially in those first few days, we tried to be in the sunshine as much as possible to help re-set our clocks, and it really helped. Anyway, we all woke up pretty sluggish that first afternoon, but we had a snack, got out and started walking and had a really great evening.

The first night did not go as well. Both boys were awakened by a loud thunderstorm around 11 (just about the time they would wake up from naps at home) and had a hard time going back to sleep. Sam had an especially hard time, but after a couple hours of nursing, bouncing, and patting he finally went back to sleep. The next night (and for the rest of the trip!) Michael slept like a champ. Sam had trouble sleeping through the night, though, during the entire trip. During those first few days I think he woke up hungry in the middle of the night, and I always nursed him, and Tim spent hours rocking and patting him, but as the trip went on I think he was just scared about being in unfamiliar places and he got dependent on us snuggling him back to sleep. (It was exhausting. Luckily, as soon as we got home he went back to sleeping through the night again.) So, there wasn't much quality sleep for Tim and me, and that was a bummer, but it didn't ruin the trip. We got busy making memories, and that distracted us from our weariness (most of the time). 

The flight home was a little trickier because it was a day flight and the boys were awake and bouncing around the entire time, except for one quick cat nap for Sam. (At one point, I felt sure we had been flying for like six hours, so I checked the flight tracker and we had been flying for less than two hours and Sam was already stirring from his one and only nap. That was a sinking feeling.) But, with a whole lot of snacks and iPad and laps around the airplane, we made it home and had a very smooth transition back to Texas time. Both times we flew, we tried to stick to these rules:

1) start eating and sleeping in the new time zone as soon as you get on the plane

2) if it's day time, get out in the sun as much as possible and be active (as if kids give you any choice about that)

3) nap at naptime, but then get up and do something

4) if you or your offspring wake up in the middle of the night, keep it dark and quiet 

Jet lag resources we used: here, here, and here.

Packing for Europe

boarding for Italy / catching a train in Milan / almost back home to Texas

When I was a little girl, before every family camping trip my dad would pull out a packing checklist he'd made - stakes, mallet, plastic bags, matches, propane, flashlights, batteries, etc. - and carefully make sure we packed everything we needed. At the time I thought his meticulous checklist was silly - "Is it really the end of the world if we forget something?" But then I had kids. And I still wanted to travel. And I learned that a beloved blankie, or a much-needed plastic bag can make all the difference when you're far from home. So I have put together my own traveling list, and if I do say so myself, it makes traveling with the family 1000% better. With good preparation I don't feel as anxious and I have a much better shot at enjoying myself. (You totally knew what you were doing, Dad!) A couple of friends have asked about how we packed for the trip, so I thought I'd share some of my list here.

The first thing I did was pack a carry-on bag. My rule of thumb, when packing a carry-on, is to imagine the worst case scenario and pack accordingly. I imagine the airline loses our checked bags, we all come down with sickness during the 9 hour flight, there are multiple diaper blow-outs, the food on the plane is inedible, and everyone needs a change of clothes. This might sound excessive, but it covers the bases and it works! And even after the flight, this bag continues to function as command central - whenever we went on a day trip this bag came along. We changed locations multiple times during our trip and we didn't lose anything because everything important had a specific place in the carry-on bag! And it all fits in one backpack. Here's what I packed:

- one change of clothing for everyone, rolled up tightly in the bottom of the bag
- ziploc "first-aid kit" (tylenol, pepto, teething tablets, bandaids, any prescription meds, retainers, etc.)
- ziploc "snack kit" (nuts, raisins, apples, granola bars, peanut butter crackers, etc.)
- "diaper kit" (changing pad, diapers, wipes, and plastic bags)
- "electronics kit" (chargers for phones, iPad, and camera, adapters if traveling abroad)
- water bottles for the boys
- a light layer for everybody (jackets for boys, sweater and scarf for me)
- several extra plastic bags because they're small, light, and they really save the day when you need one
- travel packs of lysol wipes and hand wipes

the boy knows how to relax on a flight / playing on the people-mover / watching the sun rise over Europe

We also brought Michael's small backpack. This enabled him to carry part of the load (sometimes), but even more importantly, he had a consistent place to keep his books, toys and found treasures on the trip so nothing got lost. I packed small toys and activities that I knew would inspire play in any setting. Here's what we brought for Michael:

- a dry-erase activity book and marker
- a small, flat tin full of letter and picture magnets
- several new small books (from the dollar bin at Target)
- his favorite "adventure gear" that also happens to be small (compass, binoculars, laser)
- crayons, stickers, a couple of activity packs from the dollar bin
- a couple of his favorite cars
- Ralph and his motorcycle
- a small matching game
- his two small blankets that he likes to sleep with
- the iPad (loaded with favorite movies and games)
- headphones
- along the way we also added an Italy cap, a slingshot, some rocks, and gladiator gear

Finally, I carried my purse (wallet, keys, passports, sunglasses, iPhone, camera) and pushed a single stroller with the Ergo stashed in the basket underneath. Most of the time Sam rode in the stroller and Michael walked, but when Michael got tired he would ride in the stroller and we put Sam in the Ergo. We also kept a hook on the stroller so we could hang bags from it whenever possible. This was a really good balance for us. We had everything we needed and it was manageable getting around in airports, train stations, and even walking through cities.

We checked two medium-sized suitcases and a travel crib (which can be worn as a backpack). Looking back, I think we probably could have packed a little less clothing (and put everything in one very large suitcase) but we expected cold, wet autumn weather and we ended up having warm temps instead. So, we were prepared, but in the end we didn't need some of the things we brought. My packing goals were pretty simple: I packed one week's worth of clothes for each of us (plus a little extra for the boys), planned to re-wear clothes when needed, and wash clothes when possible. I tried to make sure everyone looked nice while still being comfortable, everything was layerable, and I tried to keep most of our clothes within the same color palette (because you never know when you'll get the perfect framer of a picture!) All of this took some thought and careful planning, but it was really worth it! I won't go into detail here, since this will vary so much by season, but here is a perfect (and realistic) example of a travel capsule wardrobe. I followed this almost exactly and it was just right.

Tim and Tiny Tim / making our way through Zurich airport / Sammy in his "highchair"

Finally, a few quick words about baby gear. We brought as little as we possibly could, and I'm so glad! As I mentioned above, we brought our favorite stroller and kept the Ergo stashed in the basket underneath. We debated a lot over what type of stroller to bring, and I'm so glad we settled on this one - it's old but it has never failed us! Sam spent a lot of time riding (and occasionally napping) in it, and it served as his high-chair during most of the trip, and a few times as a changing table on the go. I worried that it might be too big or bulky in tiny European streets, but it was fine and it handled cobblestones much better than an umbrella stroller would have! The only other equipment we brought was the travel crib and, again, we debated this one quite a bit. And, again, I'm so glad we brought it! Sam struggled with sleep on this trip, so I can only imagine how difficult it would have been for him to sleep in strange/uncomfortable beds along the way. It gave me huge peace of mind knowing he would have his own familiar, clean bed wherever we went. The iPad functioned as white noise and/or night light when needed. We brought about a week's worth of diapers and wipes, and when those ran out we just bought more. And that's about it!

Rome

(Piazza Navona at sunset)

We're back from our big adventure! We just spent 17 days traveling around Italy and Switzerland with the boys and we had an amazing time. There were so many highlights (and challenges too), so I'm going to try and put it all down here fast, for the benefit of anyone who might want read it, and before my memory starts to fail me! In this part I'll cover Rome - how we structured our days, what we did, where we ate, and where we stayed. 

We arrived in Rome around 10 in the morning (3am Texas time) after just a few hours of sleep on our flight. We had done our research (good articles here and here) and we knew that the best way to combat jet-lag was to immediately start eating and sleeping in the new time zone. So, we kept the boys awake (not hard - they were just as excited as us to be there!) and as soon as we were settled into our rental we walked to lunch. Once we had our first yummy Roman meal, we walked back to the apartment and everybody crashed for an afternoon nap. We probably all could have slept for hours, but we set an alarm and only slept for a couple of hours before we went back out to explore. That night we put the boys to bed at normal time, and from then on we were able to stick to our normal schedule. There were still some night-time sleep struggles (particularly with Sam), but it only took a day or two for our internal clocks to be "reset". In the mornings we ate breakfast at the apartment and got out by about 9:30. We would pack in as much activity as we could before lunch, then eat lunch out, and make our way back to the apartment by about 2 for afternoon naps. Then, after naps we would head out again for some evening sight-seeing and dinner. For those few precious days in Rome, we had Sam take his morning nap on the go (in the Ergo or the stroller) and that worked out well.

Now, the fun part: how we spent our time in Rome. Ah, beautiful Rome. I've dreamed of this place since I was about 10 years old, and although this wasn't exactly the kind of trip I had always imagined, it did not disappoint. Tim and I knew the success of our trip depended on planning activities that were fun for the whole family and adjusting our expectations to include two little ones, and I think we did a good job! No, there were no long dinners lingering over dessert and wine, there was no shopping, and we didn't even go near a museum. But there is just so much to see and do in Rome, and we chose to focus on those things that suited our boys - lots of outdoor activities like parks, piazzas, and fountains (which happen to be free - bonus!) within about 15 minutes walking distance from our apartment. We framed everything as an adventure, whether it was a trip to pick up pastries or a visit to the "gladiator Colosseum", and the boys always responded with excitement that was contagious. Here are some of the highlights:

- A trip to the Borghese Gardens. We packed some snacks and walked from our apartment, through the Piazza del Popolo, up to the top of Pincian Hill with sweeping views over the city. The boys loved being able to get out and run, riding on the carousel, and playing on the playground. We loved the beauty and peace of the park. The highlight for all of us was renting a pedal cart and zooming around the park while the boys rang the bell. We only spent a few hours there, but the boys could have stayed all day. It was just what we all needed after spending the previous couple of days traveling. Around lunch time it got rainy so we bought a yellow umbrella, ducked into Porto di Ripetta and had one of our favorite meals in Rome. 

- A visit to the Pantheon and Piazza Navona. These two spots are very close to each other, and it was easy to visit both in one evening. I was so excited to see the Pantheon, and I was so impressed by the scale of it. What an amazing structure! I think it was interesting for the boys too because the Pantheon and the facing piazza were bustling with people, live music, cars, scooters, fountains...it was really exciting! Once I'd had my fill of gawking at the Pantheon and taking lots of pictures we walked the short distance over to the Piazza Navona. This place thrilled the boys too (in the pictures above they're dancing to some live music and running around on the smooth cobblestones)! It was so fun we actually visited on two different days. We strolled around, Michael chased pigeons, and we threw coins into the fountains. When we got hungry for dinner we stopped for some pizza at Pizza Zaza right around the corner. This was a great place to watch people, and grab some gelato. The icing on the cake was the view of the Tiber on our walk back to the apartment at sunset.

- Seeing the Colosseum and the Forum. We decided not to do the official tour, but we still had fun and wonderful views just walking around the outside of the Colosseum and the Forum. This is another one that might not sound kid-friendly, but Michael had a blast! He loved hearing about the gladiators and hopping along the (huge) cobblestone road through the Forum. As always, we packed snacks, and when we needed a break from walking up and down the hill we just sat down, snacked, and watched the people go by. Before we left, Tim bought Michael a set of gladiator armor and a sword, and it has been a huge hit with the boys. Michael remembers exactly where he got it, and it makes me so happy that he'll always have that memory!

In our three and a half days in Rome, those are the major sites we visited. We also went to the Spanish Steps and the Trevi Fountain, but both were very crowded (the only time I felt uneasy about keeping a close eye on the boys and our wallets), and the Trevi was being restored and wasn't even visible. I was disappointed with our experiences of those two iconic sites, but as with our other adventures in Rome, the walking and just being there was a treat in itself. So many of the things the boys enjoyed were simple moments in between the "big" things - crossing over the bridges, stopping to play in the fountains, watching the scooters zoom past - and that made the experience even better for Tim and me. 

Finally, I think a lot of the success of our trip hinged on where we stayed. We've found that when traveling with kids it absolutely pays to rent an apartment or house, as opposed to staying in hotels. We have two little ones who still nap, so in a rental everyone has their own space to sleep when they need to sleep, and even when the kids are in bed by 7 or 8, Tim and I can stay up and enjoy the evening together. There's also the kitchen; in Italy breakfast is small, dinner is very late by American standards, and in restaurants we couldn't always find foods that were appetizing to the kids. So, a kitchen was invaluable. We were able to start each day with our customary big breakfast, keep fresh snacks to take with us on outings, and in those first few, jet-lagged days, have dinner when we really needed it, rather than waiting until 7:30 or 8 at night. The rental also gave us the luxury of a washing machine and lots of play space for the kids. We could have stayed closer to the action in the central part of the city, but we chose to stay in a quiet neighborhood, in a rental that faced a courtyard, and that was so wonderful for us. It really made such a difference that we had a peaceful, quiet place to nap and sleep. It didn't hurt that the place is my dreamy ideal Roman apartment. I loved playing house here for a few days!